*My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
*This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.
*Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
*Hi. Now YOU say something.
*Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.
*Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.
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