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#kaka Haikus

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 01:55
by Mortis
what about the fish
they sleep so happily there
in watery homes

the sunborn raisin
is small and very dry too
sitting in the shade

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 06:10
by nobile
I suck at haikus Embarassed

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:27
by Mortis
i am not so keen
on excitement provided
by poor limericks

was produced after a change to limerick had been initiated Embarassed

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 22:22
by Armand
I still don't understand how to make haikus in English... what exactly do you count?

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 00:04
by Mortis
Syllables Smile

i-am-not-so-keen 1 2 3 4 5
on excitement provided 1 2-3-4 5-6-7
by poor limericks 1 2 3-4-5


All of the previous "haiku"s were just a crazy part of an even crazier idea (i.e. "What if we all talk in haikus now!") that really didn't move anywhere - I don't think it was meant to... anyway, apart from these, that is. I took the low road and left the full stop(s) (caesuras, meditative points/changes of focus or situation) out from all of them since... well, oh well.

Anyway, yea, usually the idea in English (or Finnish for that matter) is that you have 17 syllables for haikus and 31 (17+14) for tankas. I hope this helps a little, it would be lovely to see more of original work that conforms to certain standards of art here.

Tuomas Anhava was(?) one of the more prominent translators of Japanese poetry in Finland, and I've actually tried to acquire all of his output in that area - so far without much success though (some of the prints sold out in the 80s or so). Here's an example of a tanka in Finnish:

Yakamochi:
Sinä hymyilit
kun kylvimme neilikat:
odota syksyyn.
Ne kukkivat nyt. Sinä
et ole näkemässä.


The restrictions of translation are evident, but... it's awesome! Sugoi!

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 00:17
by Armand
We actually brushed the topic, as well as Anhava's work, at the creative writing courses... I do think finnish is quite suitable for haikus, the syllables are clear and there aren't many (if at all?) expections around.

Oh, how voluptuous
are the forms of a lady;
fun, fleeting folly


(I just fapped Razz )

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 00:41
by Armand
Mendel totally
missed the fucking point, hidden
between phat back-sides

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 00:49
by Mortis
HAIL KAKA!

Yeah Finnish is great for haiku, like I said earlier, Finnish is very wistful - "haikea" Very Happy

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 09:19
by Enok
HAIL KAKA!

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 22:06
by Armand
The spider feels a
tugging, death-throes of freedom;
penile rise and fall


Hmm, that's straight from the heart too. Sär Mad

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 22:39
by Armand
Sanctimonious
the clergy of Mammon, too;
indeed, rain is tears

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 22:50
by Armand
My blanket is in
tatters, but warm, is the dark!
And I thank the moths

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 22:59
by Armand
The seven sins each
unlock a pain, the gate is
home; ah, wanderlust

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 23:22
by Armand
Excuse me while I
tread on meaning, but so far
is the horizon

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 23:48
by Armand
HEY WHY IS THIS THREAD IN THE SPAMROOM ANYWAY Mad Mad Mad

Wink

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:24
by Mortis
Well...

Well.

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 20:24
by mushy
.

Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 13:37
by Mortis
Free aspirations
Produce haphazard results
Of most peculiar type

Where have the snows of
Yesteryear gone, where are they
Gone from us this year?

Oú sont les neiges d' antan villon :<<

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 07:39
by mushy
.

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 13:09
by Mortis
It's actually okay, you can take liberties if you wish - it's art, after all!